FINDING OUR IDENTITY

 Of all the things you will have in your life, the one thing that will always be with you is your

identity: those unique qualities that make you who you are and foreshadow your potential for contributing to the world. Through thick and thin, you can count on your identity being there – a reassuring touchstone during difficult times, the key to understanding your purpose.

Everyone has the ability to discover their identity. You can learn a lot about who you are by clarifying what makes you truly happy within the context of different relationships.

© The Identity Circle LLC.  All Rights Reserved 

I AM XENA AND I AM HAPPIEST WHEN I AM WRITING BOOKS,  because it helps me to express my inner thoughts and myself. It is important to me because it frees my mind from negative things and past memories and drags me into a world of secureness and happiness. I have struggled with many obstacles in my life and have been deceived by many people, but I have leaned to overcome my fears and to stand up strong through writing.

I am Cheyenne and I am happiest when I am expressing important ideas.

 

I’m Anifa and I am happiest when I am discussing personal matters with an understanding listener.

I am Anisa and I am happiest when I am being challenged by commitments,  because it makes me feel that I have the power to overcome anything. I am happy when my teachers challenge me in school.

I am Shania and I am happiest when I am making friends succeed,  because my friends are the people who help me get to the place I am today. So, just by giving back to them and making them happy. I enjoy helping my friends in any way to make them successful and better people in life. (not pictured)

Our first FLC year is coming to an end and here is A summary of OUR HOT topics - that we discussed with heart, lots of laughter and at time with tears:

Teen Pregnancy:

Reading:

• Stupid Reasons for Teenagers to Get Pregnant and Why Teenage Pregnancy is a Dumb Idea in General (by Holly Ashworth)
• 10 Signs That You're Ready for Sex, how to know the right time to have sex for the first time (teenadvice.about.com) 

Self-Reflexion:

Reading:

• Hot Stuff! Sex, You and Reality (by Jlove in We got Issues!)
• I See Me by Jay;   What I've Learned by Amy;   Who am I? by Megan;   My Escape by Kayla Saunders     (Teen Poems, www.bestteenpoems.com)

Photography: Our first set of portraits

Discussing:

• The Seven Instruments within the FLC group: Self Awareness, Self Esteem, Sense of Humor, Empathy, Integrity, Responsibility, Focus (adapted from YELC, Community of Unity, NYC)
• Our parameter: Real honesty, Real respect, Real sharing 

Family & Parents:

Reading:

• On Children (by Kahlil Gibran)
• Dad Poem: Long Time Gone by Nicole Mezzapelle ;   Mom Poem: The Truth  by Brittaney Ferguson;   Sleepless Night by Jessalyn S;   My Escape by Kayla  (Teen Poems, www.bestteenpoems.com)

Feeling blue, angry & bullied:

Photography: Our first set of group portraits

Reading:

• Our Youth: Stories from the Program of Yelc  (Community of Unity in NYC)
• What They Did To Me ... by Amanda   (Teen Poems, www.bestteenpoems.com)

School, Future & Career

Guest Speaker: A brainstorm with Allison Pierre, Lawyer & Prosecutor in NYC

Love, Friendship, Romance & Sexual Relationship:

Guest Speaker: Sarah Winstanley, Social Worker

Reading:

• On Love (by Kahlil Gibran)

• I hope you will take some time today to celebrate LOVE (a personal note by Naomi Pabst, NYC 2012)
• I AM AN EMOTIONAL CREATURE  (by Eve Ensler)
• Key To My Heart   by Amanda Marie  (Teen Poems, www.bestteenpoems.com)
• Dear Rihanna  (by Eve Ensler)
• Here is my Ten Point Plan:  Honoring our Interconnectedness as Humans! (© by Naomi Pabst , NYC)

Developing: Defining our rights in a Friendship, Romance & Sexual Relationship

Healthy relationships:

Guest Speaker: Carla Beharry, Homeopathic Practitioner, Canada

Discussing:

• Qualities to look for in a partner & qualities to be cautious about in a partner.  Important characteristics of loving/mature relationships - intimacy, equality, communication, respect, etc. Red flags in relationships - disrespect, infidelity, controlling, etc. Defining 'what is important to you' in a relationship and your personal values - 'what do I value about myself'. Finding out: Who Am I. Things I like to do with others, things I like to do alone, the way I would like to be treated by others, things about myself I am proud of.

Self-Reflexion:

Developing: Finding our Identity (© The Identity Circle LLC. All Rights Reserved)

Self Reflexion by Anifa

I am Me    

My color has shaped who I am, for good and for bad. In life I battle some ups and downs and try to be different. I try not to judge others before I know them. I’m neither perfect nor do I try to be. I do fight.

I still learn and I listen to what is going on around me. I’m ignorant, but the fact that I know I am, has set me on a path to unveil my future.

I’m a fifteen-year-old student at Ocean Academy in Caye Caulker. I’m a strong and free female. I’m dark and lovely. “Yes, dark!” I can’t really change that and also wouldn’t. “Guess what:” I was born this way. I am not very good in confronting others in a nice way when I’m upset or in a bad mood. I take my troubles out on people. Now I’m in this FLC thing and hope that this will help me to better control my feelings and my anger. I seem very shy and quiet at first as well, until you get to know me. “The real me.” Most people think that I’m a stuck up person - that’s not true, but I don’t waste my time trying to change people’s opinions about me. If they are around me more they will find out that I am not that bad. I’m not very girly, except for the times when I want to feel “pretty”. Clothes and hairstyle are far from my mind most of the time. I like having girls to hangout and talk. I’m from a small town called Dangriga. I’m a little confused about what being dark really is, but I try not to let it effect my life. Oh, I almost forgot when I finish school I want to become a lawyer, “a professional lawyer” and those are a few things about “Who I Am”. A mixed up young, dark lady with a big world ahead of me.

Myself and how I sometimes feel  

So many times I’ve tried so hard in life.

Through emotional and especially personal times I try battling myself and encourage myself to have confidence but it doesn’t seem to be working. Every morning I get out of bed, I try to face the mirror and say, “ I am strong and there is nothing a beautiful young lady like me can’t accomplish”.

But then again I don’t think I’m worth it. I fail myself during my hard, struggling times. Sometimes I think I don’t deserve to be in this world and the only thing that holds me back from letting myself down is “ my future”. I want to see what God has planned for me and of course that is if I live to see it; and if I don’t, well it’s just God’s choice because I can’t say what is coming ahead or what is going to happen that minute.

I’m just an ordinary fifteen-year-old young lady trying to get what is best for me.

Why I read 

Sometimes I feel like giving up but thanks to whoever invented books I keep on going.

It’s hard to say that those little quotes and advise I read help me to better understand or take care of my problems. I read to find solutions for my personal problems, not because I love the character – because I love it’s words.

Time with volunteer Carla Beharry (May 2012)

We had an amazing time with our volunteer Carla Beharry in May.

During two meetings we spoke about:

• Healthy relationships - qualities to look for in a partner & qualities to be cautious about in a partner
• Important characteristics of loving/mature relationships - intimacy, equality, communication, respect, etc. 
• Red flags in relationship's - disrespect, infidelity, controlling, etc.
• Defining 'what is important to you' in a relationship and your personal values - 'what do I value about myself'. 
• Finding out: Who Am I. 
• Things I like to do with others, things I like to do alone, the way I would like to be treated by others, things about myself I am proud of.

From our volunteer Sarah (April 2012)

Don't you dare say all negative that it's a

teenage thing

or it's only because I'm a girl.

These feelings make me better.

They make me ready.

They make me present.

They make me strong.

I am an emotional creature.

                  - Eve Ensler

I had the amazing opportunity to volunteer at Ocean Academy high school on the island of Caye Caulker, Belize, during the month of March. Among other things, I was lucky enough to be involved with the Female Leadership Club (FLC) at the school, which had meetings every Friday afternoon after school was over. Seven girls would gather in one of the classrooms, furnished with beat-up old desks and decorated with the artwork of the students, to share stories about their week and discuss a topic chosen by them. The mood was often serious as the girls shared about the issues they were facing in their lives, but would quickly shift to playful as they cracked jokes and teased each other.

During my time on the island, the topic the girls had chosen was love. Using poems and stories, the facilitator would open up discussion amongst the girls about what love meant to them, and what healthy love was. Each girl had a different view of love, but they were in agreement about two things. Firstly, they had all been told at some point that what they felt was not love because they were either too young or not experienced enough in matters of the heart to be able to know for sure. Yet somehow, they could all say when they knew that they loved someone, how they could tell if someone loved them, and could describe exactly what a broken heart felt like.

The facilitator did a fantastic job of reminding the girls that no one could tell them that what they felt was not legitimate, not only about love but about everything in their lives.

She and the girls were also vigilant about making FLC a safe place for everyone to share their experiences, addressing anything that came up as a potential threat to the dynamics within the group. I was really impressed by how open and direct the girls were with each other, and hope that this is something I can help support in Girl Power camp at the Women’s Centre this summer.

I want to close off with something the group did several times to start an FLC meeting. The girls all had a piece of paper and a pen, and wrote “I AM” statements about how they felt at that exact moment in time.

So, using myself as an example…

I AM so lucky to have been able to work with this amazing group.

I AM excited to bring back what I have learned to Girl Power Camp this summer.

I AM inspired by the strength of girls.

Sarah

NOTES FROM OUR FLC MEETING WITH GUEST SPEAKER ALLISON PIERRE (FEB. 2012)

Allison Pierre is a lawyer and prosecutor In New York City, USA:

·      - You have options in your career

·      - Work hard

·      - College is important if you wish to   give your career a push

BRAINSTORM:

- If you would like to be a nurse, you might consider becoming a doctor, pediatrician, a gynecologist

- If you like math and consider working in a bank, you might consider becoming an engineer

- If you would like to become a carpenter, you might consider becoming an architect

·      Put yourself first

·      Make choices

·      Learn to say YES to an opportunity

·      Learn to say NO to influences that are negative for your mind and body

·      Take care of yourself

·      You can have both: family & career

·      Wait for Mr. do-it-right

LIVE BOLDLY!!!

Thoughts on REAL WOMEN:

• are independent
• are secure
• are outspoken
• are not shy to answer
• are leaders
• are unique from the inside and outside
• have voices of the world that make a better society
• are responsible
• are honest
• are standing up for their responsibilities
• are strong
• are intelligent
• are mature
• are not afraid to speak
• are adults
• are hardworking
• are respectful
• are wise
• are confident
• are brave

From our mid-semester check-in:

What do you like within our FLC time?

• I like the laughs we share in the group
• I like that we share our ideas and issues
• I like that share our thoughts
• I like the group because you get to express your feeling.

What do you dislike within our FLC time?

• I dislike quarrelling with each other over things that are not necessary
• I dislike that we girls don’t really get along with each other
• I dislike when many FLC girls don’t show up for the meeting
• I dislike certain behaviors in the group.
• I dislike when we don’t know how to control our mouth and don’t speak in order 

Has something changed for you since you are part of the FLC group?

• I notice that I can ”open-up” more
• Not really
• Yes, things have changed. I have become happier because all of us are like sisters and we share secrets.
• I feel like I have found a home
• Yes, things have changed, because I don’t get angry very quick any more
• Yes, I now know how to express myself
• Yes, I speak up for what I want
• Yes, I’m learning how to confront someone without hurting his or her feelings.

I’M … from our weekly brainstorm

I’m ME

I’m longing for something

I’m heartbroken

I’m confused

I’m angry

I’m everything I wish to be

I’m special

I’m smart

I’m unique

I’m happy

I’m special

I’m a wise person

I’m very jealous

I’m fun

I’m very intelligent

I’m brave

I’m independent

I’m strong

I’m loving

I’m short

I’m proud

I’m beautiful

I’m young

I’m kind

I’m outgoing

I’m happy

I’m tall

I’m funny

I’m a star

I’m loving the FLC

FLC lunch and walk on Dec. 23rd 2011

FLC Leaders

Zuemy

Xena & Anisa

Xena

Chayenne

Anisa

Saira & Zuemy

Saira

Anisa, Zuemy, Xena & Saira

First portrait session for our female leaders

Ashley

Chayenne

Ellie

Jayani

Zuemy

Shania

Xena

Saira

I'M ... from our weekly brainstorm

I’m beautiful.

I’m smart.

I’m happy.

I’m fifteen years old.

I’m dark.

I’m neat.

I’m sexy.

I’m glad.

I’m happy.

I’m beautiful.

I’m fat.

I’m a voice to the world.

I’m a proud black teenager.

I’m the glowing light that guides the path I walk.

I’m beautiful.

I’m smart.

I’m happy.

I’m fourteen years old.

I’m responsible.

I’m a person.

I’m a unique person.

I’m loyal.

I’m friendly.

I’m intelligent.

I’m mischievous.

I’m sad.

I’m tall.

I’m sweet.

I’m in love.

I’m beautiful.

I’m smart

I’m happy

I’m thirteen years old.

I’m strong.

I’m loved.

I’m idle.

I’m the one who’ll help when you stumble and fall.

I’m shy.

I’m happy.

I’m irreplaceable.

I’m unique.

I’m powerful.

I’m a shining star.

I’m me.

First FLC lunch and photo shoot on November 25th 2011